Abstract: Over the past few decades, there have been signs of a marriage decline across many world regions. Alongside this trend, individuals increasingly form intimate partnerships or family-like ties outside marriage. Non-marital and alternative family configurations are no longer rare exceptions, but are emerging as significant family forms that coexist with marriage while reshaping the meaning and boundaries of family in everyday life. Chinese families are undergoing profound transformations, as manifested in the growing consensus among younger generations that marriage is no longer “a must” in life. Despite shifting attitudes toward marriage among young people and increasingly diverse forms of intimate relationships, research on Chinese families still centers on marriage.

Drawing on international scholarship and cross-national data, we move beyond a marriage-centered lens to examine three forms of non-marital relationships—cohabitation, living-apart-together (LAT) partnerships, and chosen families (i.e., families defined not by marriage or blood but by mutual support and enduring solidarity). We analyze the trends and organizing logics of these non-marital relationships and consider their implications for China.

The findings reveal that among women aged 30-34, the percentage of the married declined from 99% in 1982 to 88% in 2020 in China, and the corresponding figures fell from 63%-87% in the 1980s to below 50% in 2020-2023 in many Western countries. Despite their unmarried status, many people still “do” family in alternative ways. In 2022-2024, 18%-59% of unmarried adults aged 25-44 had a cohabiting partner in Western countries, compared with around 2% in China. In European countries, 5%-13% of adults aged 18-79 were in LAT partnerships between 2020 and 2024, although comparable figures for China remain unavailable. Evidence from Western scholarship and Chinese public discourse suggests that chosen families are not confined to marginalized groups, but rather represent a common way in which people, especially never-married older women, construct intimacy beyond couple relationships.

Non-marital relationships carry different meanings in the West and China. In Western societies, cohabitation has increasingly become an alternative to marriage, whereas in China it is mainly considered a prelude to marriage. Western LAT partnerships emphasize individual autonomy, yet in China, their formation is shaped more by structural factors such as the household registration (hukou) system. Chosen families in Western contexts are often associated with marginalized groups and viewed as an individualized family form, whereas in China such family practices may be primarily driven by anxiety about old-age care.

This study makes several contributions. It highlights that family change is reflected not only in the transformation of the marital institution but also in the diversification of non-marital relationships. By moving beyond a marriage-centered framework, this study broadens the scope of research on Chinese families. It argues that Chinese families are shaped by the dynamic interplay between structural resilience and practical flexibility. As such, non-marital relationships must be understood in relation to institutional contexts, life-course trajectories, and individual practices. This study advocates for incorporating non-marital relationship modules into large-scale social surveys in China to facilitate research in this area. Foregrounding non-marital relationships, this study enables a more comprehensive understanding of the growing diversity and complexity of family life in contemporary China, while contributing to policy development and theoretical advancement amid rapid societal and family transformations.

Keywords: Intimacy, Marriage, Family Change, Cohabitation, Living-apart-together Partnerships, Chosen Families

摘要： 过去几十年间，婚姻在全球范围内呈现“衰落”趋势。同时，非婚姻形式的家庭和亲密关系逐渐成为与婚姻并存的重要关系形式，并拓展了“家庭”的内涵与外延。通过梳理国际研究和分析跨国数据，本文探讨了同居、分居伴侣关系、选择性家庭3种较受关注的非婚姻关系的变化趋势、运作逻辑及其对中国的启示。研究发现，在欧美国家，同居逐渐成为婚姻的替代形式，而在中国，其仍主要被视为婚姻的前奏；欧美国家的分居伴侣关系强调个体自主性，而在中国，其形成更多受到户籍制度等结构性因素的影响；选择性家庭在欧美国家常与弱势群体和个体化的家庭构建相关联，而在中国，养老焦虑成为驱动这种家庭实践的重要因素。本文突破婚姻中心主义的框架，旨在拓展婚姻关系之外的中国家庭研究，以更全面地理解中国家庭的复杂性和亲密关系的多元走向，为中国家庭转型背景下的理论发展和政策讨论提供新视角。

关键词: 亲密关系, 婚姻, 家庭转型, 同居, 分居伴侣关系, 选择性家庭